What's this?
This sentence comes from "The Analects of Confucius: Li Ren". It has twelve words, but it expresses an ability that most people will never learn in their lifetime:
> When you see a virtuous person, you want to emulate him; when you see an unvirtuous person, you reflect on whether you have the same problem.
In today’s words:
> Don’t be upset when you see good things in others, go and learn from them. Don't laugh when you see someone else being bad, look in the mirror.
> The speed of your growth depends on how quickly you can see yourself in others.
> Other people’s advantage is free teaching materials, and other people’s disadvantage is free physical examination.
Note that this is not a moral sermon about "humility". It talks about the core mechanism of cognitive upgrading - the most expensive thing you can encounter in your life is not an MBA course or a personal trainer, but the behavior and results of everyone around you. They are all experimenting with their own lives, and then showing you the results for free.
The only question is: Did you see it? Have you learned it? Have you reflected on it?
When Confucius said this, he was talking about self-cultivation. But today, it talks about the basis of all learning - learning from others, not from your own repeated mistakes.
---
Why is it important?
Most people live in the world with an illusion: My problems are special and other people's experiences are of no use to me.
So when they see other people's successes, they say "he is lucky"; when they see other people's failures, they say "he is stupid". They can't learn anything from other people's experiences and can only step on the same pitfalls that others have stepped on over and over again.
In the twenty-five years since I came to Europe, I have seen too many people fall into this illusion.
Case 1: The boss who "is always someone else's fault"
As an entrepreneur, the company has changed teams six times in five years. Every time someone leaves, his conclusion is the same: "This generation of employees is not good."
He never asked: "Why can't all six groups of people do it? Is it possible that I am the one who can't do it?"
When he sees other people's company teams are stable, he says "they have more money"; when he sees other people's company culture is good, he says "their industry is good". He never sees what others have done right - because seeing what others are right means admitting his own faults.
Three years later, his competitor, a once much weaker company, went public. He is still saying "this generation of employees is not good".
This is the opposite of "seeing the unworthy and introspecting" - seeing the unworthy and laughing at others, and seeing the virtuous and jealous of others. In the twenty-five years since I came to Europe, the biggest cognitive prison I have seen is not ignorance, but the illusion of "always right".
Case 2: Goldsmith’s Apprentice in Florence
There is a gold jewelry workshop in Florence that has been passed down for six generations. I asked the sixth generation: "How do you teach your apprentices?"
He said: "Every morning, the apprentices put out their yesterday's works. Then everyone - including the master - finds faults together. But there is one rule: before you find faults with others, you first find faults with yourself."
"What if the apprentice thinks others are better than him?"
"Then he will say: 'The texture of this ring is better than mine, and I want to learn his technique.'"
"What if the apprentice feels that others are worse than themselves?"
"Then he will say: 'I shouldn't have made a mistake in this welding point. I want to check whether my work yesterday has the same problem.'"
This is "think about the wise when you see them, and reflect on yourself when you see the unworthy" - it is not taught to you by a teacher, but learned by you from other people's works. In the 25 years since I came to Europe, I have seen the most powerful Italian workshops. It is not the masters who are the best at teaching, but the apprentices who are the best at learning from others.
Case 3: The tennis boy who "stole his master"
A teenage tennis kid, not the most talented on the team. But he has a habit: after every training, he will sit on the sidelines for ten minutes and watch other players train.
When he saw a good serve, he wrote in his notebook: "The angle of his throw was 15 degrees higher than mine." When he saw a bad return, he also wrote: "He was slow. I had this problem last week too."
Three years later, he was the most improved player on the team. The coach asked him the secret, and he said: "I have not found a personal trainer. My coaches are all my teammates."
This is "seeing the wise and thinking of others" - every swing of others is a free lesson for you. In the 25 years since I came to Europe, I have taught students a principle in the practical business courses of pblcoach.com: Your biggest learning resource is not the courses you pay for, but the people you see for free.
---
This reminds me of cognitive bias and review culture
There are two concepts in modern times, which are completely consistent with Confucius’s words.
The first is the "Fundamental Attribution Error". Psychologists have found that people tend to attribute other people's success to luck, environment, and resources ("his family is rich," "he is lucky"), and attribute their own success to ability, hard work, and talent. In turn, attribute others' failures to ability ("He's not smart") and attribute your own failures to luck ("I have bad luck").
Confucius' "seeing the wise and thinking of others" is a way to combat this cognitive bias - Forcing yourself to attribute the success of others to "things that can be learned" rather than "uncontrollable luck".
The second is Amazon's "Post-mortem". Amazon has a famous mechanism: if a project fails, the team has to write a "review document", not to explain "why we were not wrong", but to find out "where we could have done better". Moreover, this document is public – other teams can see it and learn from others’ mistakes.
This is the institutionalization of "seeing the unworthy and introspecting" - it is not waiting for oneself to make mistakes and then reflecting, but reflecting in advance from the mistakes of others.
What's even more interesting is Bridgewater's "Radical Transparency". Dalio said: At Bridgewater, everyone’s meeting minutes are public and everyone’s mistakes are recorded. Why? Because "other people's mistakes are my teachers." When you see a colleague making a bad decision, you are not secretly glad that "I am not as stupid as him", but you ask yourself: "Would I have made the same mistake in the same situation?"
This is completely consistent with what Confucius said--it is not a moral requirement, but a cognitive requirement. Reflecting on yourself when you see something unworthy is not self-criticism, but self-protection.
> Other people’s advantage is free teaching materials, and other people’s disadvantage is free physical examination.
---
How to do it?
1. Establish a "three people a day" habit
Before going to bed every night, ask yourself three questions:
- Whose "Xian" did I meet today? (Who did what I want to learn? What specifically? How do I learn it?)
- Whose "unvirtue" did I see today? (Who made the mistake I want to avoid? Do I have the same problem?)
- Have I turned the "virtue" of others into my actions today?
I have been in Europe for 25 years, and I teach students a principle in the practical business class of pblcoach.com: Learning is not input, but output. Seeing other people's good ideas, if it does not turn into your actions, is just an illusion of "knowing".
2. Turn "jealousy" into a "learning list"
Jealousy is a signal - it tells you what you want.
Next time you feel jealous, don’t suppress it, decode it:
- "I'm jealous of his income" → "I want to learn his business model."
- "I'm jealous of her figure" → "I want to learn her training methods."
- "I'm jealous of their relationship" → "I want to learn their communication style."
In the twenty-five years since I came to Europe, the most powerful people I have met have one thing in common: They turn jealousy into a road map. Jealousy is not the end, it is the starting point - a point to where you want to go.
3. Do an "error scan" once a week
Instead of scanning your own mistakes (you are already diligent enough about that), scan other people's mistakes and then ask yourself:
- Do I have similar tendencies to the mistakes he made?
- Are there any signs of his failure pattern in my life?
- If I don't change, will I be him in three years?
After coming to Europe for twenty-five years, I found that the best leaders have a habit: They never laugh at those who fail, they thank those who fail - because those who fail teach them a free risk lesson at their own expense.
---
when?
"Think of the wise when you see them, and reflect on yourself when you see the unworthy" is not a moral lesson, it is a bottom-level thinking that you can use today:
When you see a peer succeeding - don't rush to say "he is lucky". Ask yourself: "What did he do that I didn't do?" Luck is uncontrollable, behavior is controllable. Focus on the controllable.
When you see someone else fail - don't rush to say "he is stupid". Ask yourself: "Do I have the same blind spots?" Ridiculing others is the cheapest form of superiority and the most expensive cognitive tax.
When you think "I'm good enough" - go see someone better than you. It’s not to make you feel inferior, but to let you know: the ceiling is higher than you think.
When you feel like "I'm the only one with this problem" - Ask someone else. You will find that your "special problems" may be someone else's "daily problems." And others have found the solution.
When you want to criticize someone—stop for three seconds. Ask yourself, "Am I doing him a favor, or am I promoting myself?" If it's the latter, shut up. If it's the former, turn your criticism into "I had a similar problem and here's what I did..."
---
Where?
The rule of this sentence is applicable everywhere.
In psychology, Social Comparison Theory talks about this truth: People are born to compare themselves with others. But there are two types of comparison - upward comparison (comparing with people who are better than oneself) makes people improve, and downward comparison (comparing with people who are worse than oneself) makes people satisfied. Thinking about others when you see good people is an upward comparison, while looking at yourself when you see bad people is an anesthetic that prevents downward comparison.
In management, GE's "A-level talent" concept is the best explanation. Jack Welch said: A-level talents will recruit A-level talents, and B-level talents will recruit C-level talents - because B-level talents are afraid of being surpassed. This is the organizational version of "seeing the wise and thinking of others": a truly strong person is not afraid that those around him are better than himself. It is the weak who are afraid.
In business, Sam Altman (OpenAI CEO) said something: "The most successful founders I have ever seen have one common characteristic - they are truly happy for the success of others." This is not hypocrisy, this is an advanced form of "seeing others' talents" - You regard the success of others as the progress of the entire system, not as a threat to you.
In sports, Kobe Bryant's "stealing" spirit is legendary. Early in his career, he took the initiative to seek advice from Jordan. Later, he went to Olajuwon to learn footsteps and Ray Allen to learn shooting. He said: "I'm not afraid of others knowing who I'm learning from. What I'm afraid of is that I haven't learned anything." This is "seeing the wise and imitating others" - not imitating secretly, but learning openly.
In Italian family businesses, the core of the master-apprentice relationship is not "I teach you", but "you look at me and then surpass me". In the 25 years since I came to Europe, the most powerful Italian master I have ever seen will deliberately show his "imperfections" in front of his apprentices - "Look, I didn't do a good job on this welding point. What do you think should be done to change it?" He is demonstrating "introspection when you see bad people" - even the master is introspecting, and the apprentices will naturally learn it. Inheritance is not copying, it is transcendence through reflection.
---
One sentence summary
> Other people’s advantage is free teaching materials, and other people’s disadvantage is free physical examination.
---
This article was originally written by Coach Liu. Please indicate the source when reprinting.